I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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