I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
