Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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