Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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