I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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