Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize