Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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