The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
