Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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