You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
