it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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