I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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