Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
