my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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