We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my liver is dry heaving
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
