i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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