ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's shark week go big or go home
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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