I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize