I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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