Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
