Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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