I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
