is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
