My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I look better un-naked...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
