I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
