Your face is a jimmy john
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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