my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
