o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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