HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
