Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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