just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
