If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
