Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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