We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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