perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
