I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
