I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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