the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
