all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
