okay pat passed out under dana's car
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
