I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Apparently you make a good broom.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
