I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize