I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
