Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
