Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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