I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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