I cannot find my penis.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
