you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
