Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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