She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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