He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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