you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die