No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
