Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
