Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
