I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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