whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
