made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
