My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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