Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
