She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize