it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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