Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
