They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
