He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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